The Weekend Pizza Story

I decided on a whim, after seeing some of my brave soul'd friends on Facebook had tried 2 ingredient pizza dough, that it was time I tried it too. While I was at Walmart today I picked up ingredient #1- self-rising flour. I'm so cheap I just couldn't pick up ingredient #2- Greek yogurt. I didn't see the point in spending extra for Greek yogurt when why not give regular yogurt a chance? But I didn't just downgrade to regular yogurt. I went with nonfat store brand yogurt. After returning home from shopping, I looked online and compared some random 2 ingredient pizza dough recipes- yep, they were all the same: 1 cup of this, and 1 cup of that. I double and triple checked just because in my old pizza dough recipes,  the dry to wet ingredient ratio was usually approximately 3 to 1 not 1 on 1. I mixed my cheap yogurt and flour together. Not cool. "Oh no," I thought, "this is terrible. This is not working out. This glue-like consistency is never going to turn out pizza." I was getting frustrated because it wasn't working out, I was hungry, I love pizza, I hadn't made it in awhile, and now this. I was freaking out but finally decided that I would just make it work. I added an extra cup of flour. Still gloppy, not unlike biscuit dough. "Great," I vented aloud, "this is not pizza dough, we are going to be having pizza biscuits." Anthony remained calm. He said that probably once I put all the toppings on, it would still probably taste like pizza. I was sure not. The dough still has to have a flavor of it's own, and be the right consistency, among other things. My hands had yogurt/flour grime all over them so I asked Anthony if he could get me the cornmeal. He obliged. Oh, by the way, initially, once I mixed the 1 cup with 1 cup and saw it was just goop, I set the mess on the stove to see if it would rise while the oven heated. Of course it didn't so I then added the second cup of flour I mentioned earlier. I had already sprayed my pan with olive oil, and now Anthony dusted the pan with cornmeal at my request. He also put cornmeal on both sides of my dough so I could flatten it out as much as possible. I was still not happy, the dough was still a little wet and ripped incessantly. There was never going to be a full size pizza from this batch of dough. I layered my ingredients, and stuck the pizza in the oven. Later, I heard sizzling and my cheese was running off the pizza and onto the floor of the oven. Oh my, not my pizza night. I tucked the cheese into the side of the pizza so that it would stop overflowing. When the pizza was ready, I was astounded! Not only did my favorite cheese and sauce pay off, the dough was amazing . . . I really liked the smoked ham topping as well. It was like artisan pizza- crunchy, soft, chewy, and with a nice sourdough sort of flavor.